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Joke of the Day
"Wow, somebody finally wrote a book about clock fetishes! It's about fucking time."
Next Joke
"Shout out to the top 5 phones, mega, micro, smart, speaker and get off the damn."
"I wish I could hang out with Gwen Stefani. We would discuss which shit is/isn't bananas."
"Girl seeing my torn jeans Where'd you get those?! *remembers trying to pee on a hill & stumbling backwards through thorn bushes* The Gap."
"The President of Nintendo Died... The ambulance went WII U, WII U, WII U"
"What did Jesus say to the Mexicans? Don't do anything until I get back"
"Today I was given a box of Jamaican hair extensions.... It was dreadful"
"""I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you and - oh sorry, wrong number."" - Liam Neeson in Mistaken"
"What's the difference between a barrel rider, and a can of Copenhagen? You can only fit 3 fingers in a can of Copenhagen."
"Job interview: - Good morning - Good morning - Have you got a twitter account? - Yes - Ok, thanks for your time. We'll get back to you"