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Joke of the Day

"Job interview: - Good morning - Good morning - Have you got a twitter account? - Yes - Ok, thanks for your time. We'll get back to you"

"My wife came in and caught me watching something X rated material... ""Someone's set the channel numbers to Roman numerals!"" I exclaimed."

"It's 11:48 PM. You can't sleep. Underneath your bed, there's a creepy rustle, as the clown tries to quietly unwrap and eat a granola bar."

"Why don't Geordies use scales? Because they can weigh things by eye man."

"J. J. Abrams wanted to make Luke's lightsaber red but it wasn't greenlighted."

"I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house."

"My wife said to me that she wished I wouldn't drop the F-bomb in front of the kids. What the fuck is the F-bomb?"

"I'm always frank with my sexual partners I don't really want them knowing my real name."

"Why was the legless man immortal? Because he couldn't kick the bucket."

"How do you say Philippines in Ebonics? Colombia"