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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, Walt Disney was a secret FBI snitch for 26 years so I guess you could say he was a rat who was famous for drawing a mouse."

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team."" So there."

"Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I was like ""WOW"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"I hate when I'm driving and I see people text and drive. It makes me want to throw my beer can at them."

"What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground? A fruit by the foot"

"Ikea is Swedish for DIY"

"Why is everything lying on the floor? my mom asked Gravity, I replied."

"What do singers get during their periods? Minstrel cramps."

"What is the difference between a grizzly bear and a limp dick? There isn't one, you can't fuck with either one."