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Joke of the Day

"Anyone: I'm cold Me: Get a sweatshirt or something I'm not your mother Dog: *shivers once* Me: I WILL USE MY BODY HEAT TO KEEP YOU ALIVE"

"Happy 'Ask a goat what month it is month'. Today is the special day when jokes get mystic powers of expression for certain class of words."

"A man walks into a bar, and is torn apart in seconds. Whoops, sorry. Bear\*"

"I want to go to the afterlife to ask Robin Williams, ""How's it hanging?"" I'm not sorry."

"I made up a color in my head today. It was a pigment of my imagination."

"Why does sweden have so many somalis? They have a pirate bay......"

"Drunk girls would be amazing lawyers if they cared about laws & freedoms as much as they cared about trying to convince people they're sober"

"During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds."

"Did you hear about the eel party last night? It was electric"

"Huehuehue SaturationSaturationSaturation"