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Joke of the Day

"Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct."

"A children's museum SOUNDS like a good idea... ...but I would imagine it's hard to breathe inside those little glass cases."

"You always hear people saying suicide isn't the answer... But how do they know it's not the answer if they haven't tried it? I haven't heard one person complain after suicide."

"Whats the difference between a shower and a toilet? Showers take in lost of dirty people, but don't take shit from no one."

"What did the horny Astronomer say to the telescope? I wanna see Uranus."

"There's a queue for the whore house. A guy walks up, fists flying... ... He punches up the fuckline."

"Sexism is wrong and being wrong is for women"

"Why are pirates good at singing? They have great hARRRmony. I'm sorry."

"A man walks into a bar.... ...and spectacularly fails at Limbo."

"*standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead"