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Joke of the Day

"Today, I've been cleaning. And by cleaning I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze."

"What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? For one you get tweetment and the other you get oinkment..."

"Who would win a knife fight between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton? Everyone!"

"A towel walks into a bar... He orders a drink, and says ""I'll have it dry."""

"Someone knocked at my door asking if I would like to donate to the children's home so I just chucked him a few kids"

"What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor? The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back."

"Knock, Knock... Who's there? Peas. Peas who? *Peas pass the butter*"

"What do you call a rabbi with heart burn? Acidic Jew"

"Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics."

"Subway wasn't the only thing Jared Fogle was eating fresh"