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Joke of the Day

"Wife:How'd you sleep? Me: Fine except I got in a gun fight and died and went to the store because I ran out of shampoo W: Ambien:*giggles"

"Who is the Fonz's favorite baseball team? A'szzzz"

"Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!"

"Don't stay inside and get depressed about the news. Go outside and get skin cancer!"

"Why is there such a big contrast between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt? Because they're different cultures."

"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre... so the barman gives her one."

"How much does the economist-turned-prostitute charge for a blowjob? $200, possibly more if you account for inflation."

"If I had a nickel for every time some didn't understand me I'd make more cents."

"What's the hardest part about roller skating?... Telling your dad you're gay."

"The fact that axe handles are made of wood is the ultimate ""fuck you"" to trees."