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Joke of the Day

"Toys these days That awkward moment when your toys make three movies behind your back. -Andy"

"Why was the sick eagle in prison? Because she was illegal."

"Me: ""Stay back! I'm an expert when it comes to karate!"" *mugger approaches* Me: ""Karate is a martial art developed on the Ryukyu Islands."""

"I have a joke about minidisc... ...but it's a little CD."

"The person who proofread all of Hitler's speeches Was a Grammar Nazi ( )"

"The quickest way to get a creationist to shut up is threatening to throw them off the edge of the earth."

"Why did the retired police officer decide to become a DJ? So he could still get to say ""Put your hands in the air."""

"When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, ""I have now."""

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."

"When a clock is hungry... ...it goes back four seconds."