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Joke of the Day

"Why did the retired police officer decide to become a DJ? So he could still get to say ""Put your hands in the air."""

"Case of the Pregnant Lady joke"

"I'll need a weekend to recover from this weekend."

"Name a household appliance that you everyday... my wife...but shes gone and i need to do the dishes myself now"

"Why could'nt one cat impregnate the other cat?? Its because they're both pussies!!"

"Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative."

"Babies cry so that we can remember where we left them."

"""Oh no. We dripped cheese dip on the cat. I'll get it"" *she grabs a shirt* ""Hey don't use that!"" *hands her a chip*"

"My wife told me to stop singing Oasis And I said *maybe*...."

"Roe v Wade is my favorite bitter controversy about the best way to cross a small river."