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Joke of the Day

"Some of you might get this. Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar.... .... And doesn't."

"Had sex at the bowling ally on the ball return.. ...the girl loved it because I gave her 9lbs from the front and 14 from the back"

"I just want to bring your heart to it's knees. ... And while you're down there..."

"There are dogs that can detect cancer, find missing people, detect bombs, etc. My dog rolls around in other animals feces."

"When Jesus comes back, how will they discover if he's Jesus or Robot Jesus? by giving him the shroud of turing test."

"What's the difference between oral sex and...... Brussel Sprouts? If you're forced to have either as a kid you're going to hate it as an adult."

"If you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service)"

"My girlfriend's father asked me what I do... Apparently, ""your daughter"" was not the answer he wanted to hear."

"Every Time a Child Isn't Conceived During Sex... ... It's usually the result of a short cumming"

"Why did the funeral director cover his mouth? he kept coffin"