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Joke of the Day

"I just want to bring your heart to it's knees. ... And while you're down there..."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 did 9/11"

"Critics are raving about Mud. ""It's like dirt but wet"" says one. ""Oh god it's in my eyes"" says another"

"What do you say to Simba when he's slow? Mufasa! ""move faster"" heu heu heu"

"What do tumblrinas do on Halloween? They go trigger treating"

"There's a lot of mountains high enough to keep me away from you. You see that Everest mountain? Ain't no way I'm climbing that for you."

"What's the difference between prostitutes and onions? I cry when I cut onions"

"Started my new job yesterday, and have to go back in today already. THIS IS BULLSHIT."

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"What do you call an Alligator in a vest? An Investigator"