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Joke of the Day
"Why should you never hit people with violins?? Because violins is not the answer..."
Next Joke
"Her: You're up to a pack a day nowyou have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime."
"my dad suggested i sign up to be a organ donor he's a man after my own heart -masai graham"
"There's no easy way to say this... FJdnfiouadp, djfpiocu aneouidf, acnslikfiucukuokjpqukd. Diuoiufpqknddiolololdiodoodlioaidoiucnbnzquznd. Qudfiout'z'ndfjoikcugh."
"Why do fish always have c-sections? Because they can't have land sections"
"An asshole What do you call someone that puts the punchline in the title?"
"Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows chocolate fudge cake..."
"Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track."
"I was tired of not finding a seat in rush-hour commutes... Which is why, I started passing stool on the train."
"Q: What do you call 4 blondes laying on the beach? A: Public access."