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Joke of the Day

"My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: ""That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."""

"Not to brag, but I can cure my wife's insomnia just by taking my clothes off."

"What's the name of the strongest duck out there? PSYtama."

"I bought my friend an elephant... I bought my friend an elephant to put in her room. She said ""thank you very much"" I said ""don't mention it"""

"A few jokes my friend told me... What do you call a bitten apple? -An Iphone. What is bigger than an Iphone? -A brick. What is smaller than an Ipad? -An Ipad Mini."

"I bought a new thesaurus the other day. It's nothing to write house about."

"A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. ' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere.'"

"I take it personally when the UPS guy drops off a package for my neighbors but doesn't bring me one."

"Did you hear about the obese woman who got a job at a bank? She was a four-chin teller."

"What was the most popular TV show in Ancient Rome and Germany in early AD? Whose Rhine Is It Anyway?"