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Joke of the Day

"I take it personally when the UPS guy drops off a package for my neighbors but doesn't bring me one."

"My 95 year old grandpa was prescribed viagra... To stop him pissing on his slippers and rolling out of bed."

"Lawyer: Your Honor, this verdict is bullshit. I'm outta here! Judge: Litigator! Lawyer: After a while crocodile."

"Out of all the lies I've ever told, ""Just kidding"" is my favourite."

"Give me your best Chuck Norris joke. ^"

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've visited Chernobyl... it's 14"

"One day I hope to be doing so well that people accuse me of being a clone"

"The toughest decision I will make today is wine or beer... Life is rough.."

"Riding a horse can be difficult. You could always choose to ride a mule instead... but that would be half-assed."

"how do you keep an asshole in suspense?"