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Joke of the Day

"I bought my friend an elephant... I bought my friend an elephant to put in her room. She said ""thank you very much"" I said ""don't mention it"""

"Why did Lamar give money to Kobe? Because Lamar Odom"

"I hate guitarists... They're so picky."

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

"What does a Japanese chef shout in bed? Ooo mami! (Umami)"

"An Eskimo is holidaying in New Zealand.. His car breaks down. A Kiwi stops to help, opens the bonnet, and says ""Bro, you've blown a seal"" To which the Eskimo responds ""so what mate, you fuck sheep!"""

"A guy just said he wants to know what I got ""in the trunk"" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard"

"""Scientists discover female insect that has a penis"". Bet it originates from Thailand."

"Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?"