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Joke of the Day

"Dear people filming disasters : You need to zoom out before running for your lives. Nobody likes blurry footage, you selfish animals."

Next Joke
 
"Here's a tip: When making sad face emoticons, use :( If you use ): that means your mouth fell off and a frisbee is lodged in your forehead"
"Who is the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick? The hip replacement guy."
"Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone."
"wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink"
"What part of a chicken is a musical instrument? The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)"
"I was always really bad with numbers But I think my 34 inch dick makes up for it."
"An email from my parents: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Obama's a Muslim"
"A guy calls 911 and says someone dropped a box on his head Dispatcher: ""Is it empty?"" Guy: ""Yes it is"" Dispatcher: ""How about the box?"" (my dad told me this yesterday)"
"I'm so upset- I threw a bukkake party last night, but it was a complete disaster. Nobody came."
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