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Joke of the Day

"A guy calls 911 and says someone dropped a box on his head Dispatcher: ""Is it empty?"" Guy: ""Yes it is"" Dispatcher: ""How about the box?"" (my dad told me this yesterday)"

"Dear Genitals, Thank you for not bleeding every month. Sincerely, A Man"

"What did General Custer's advisors tell him before the Battle of Little Bighorn? Don't do it, it's Siouxicide"

"Him: What gets you hot, baby? Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*"

"If eating fish is so good for your brain, how come sharks always score so poorly on the SAT?"

"So the square root of -1 is performing in a Broadway show Suddenly, an audience member stands up and shouts ""I'm sure everyone will agree that i could replace you!"""

"My wife is like a Mermaid Below her pelvis, she smells like fish."

"Whenever your girlfriend tells you she's on her period remember not to say things like ""that explains it."""

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They already did it before it was cool."

"Took a window fitting course the other day. Smashed it."