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Joke of the Day

"A guy calls 911 and says someone dropped a box on his head Dispatcher: ""Is it empty?"" Guy: ""Yes it is"" Dispatcher: ""How about the box?"" (my dad told me this yesterday)"

"I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with ""What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"""

"""Whose line is it anyway?"" -generous cocaine party guests"

"I don't like gears on a car, and I hate using them. They've just always looked shifty to me."

"How does a Ethiopian show that they are rich? They wear a rolex watch around their waist."

"Ever see the same type of towel you own at a friend's house and be like motherfucker stole my towel but really you're just drunk at an Arbys"

"""Why did Sally fall off the swings?"" ""Because she has no arms."" ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally. Because she has no arms. """

"What's an avocado's favorite music? Guac N' Roll"

"I never believed that faith could move mountains But I've seen what it can do to skyscrapers"

"What's the difference between Barrack Obama and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods only wants to fuck your wife."