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Joke of the Day

"Who is the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick? The hip replacement guy."

"Headline: ""American Pharoah Wins 1st Triple Crown Title Since 1978"" That is one long-lived horse."

"Your body is a temple. Congrats on the expanding congregation!"

"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"

"Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas? They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal."

"What did the programmer call his ship? Sea++"

"I'm not that great at origami... I cut corners."

"Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium? He tripped a fan"

"What do you call an orthodox jew that is prone to heartburn? Acidic. [My apologies]"

"If revenge is a dish best served cold What do I do when my best friend serves me ice cream?"