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Joke of the Day

"My science test was like Jesus and the Cross... I fucking nailed it. Ok, I'll go now."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... With no stray pubes."

"A man put a sail on his bike... He was gone with the Schwinn."

"My sleeping pills say don't mix with alcohol, but drop it in the glass and it dissolves just fine. Doctors think they know everything."

"Is the dog ending in Silent Hill 2 an easter egg? Or is it actually canine in the storyline?"

"Nine times out of ten, when I say ""on my way"" or ""be there in 5 or 10,"" I haven't even left my house yet."

"What's the difference between magic and black magic? Black magic doesn't work."

"Why was Steve Jobbs funeral an open casket? So the attendees could get some face-time."

"Gay or straight, No state should legally recognize a marriage if they don't serve alcohol at the wedding."

"Fight club. Only naps instead. Rules the same. Just no fights. Only secret, uninterrupted glorious naps."