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Joke of the Day

"Went to the doctor today and my many years of phone sex has finally caught up with me. I have hearing AIDS now."

"What do you give a sick snake ? Asp-rin !"

"Some people think that the way to a Mans Heart is through his Stomach... ...I think they're aiming a little high."

"Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose."

"What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line? ""I'm a wiener!"""

"I was fired from Ford today I kept losing focus"

"I got into a fight with a baseball player. It wasn't too bad. All I did was strike him three times and he was knocked out."

"Joke for any location... I was at a ""place of religion or race"" the other day going through some magazines... ... I was perfectly happy till my rifle jammed."

"I had to roll the passenger window up by hand in my friend's antique 320i like a goddamned Neanderthal, so I totally understand poverty."

"How do you make a song better using cement? By remixing it."