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Joke of the Day

"Joke for any location... I was at a ""place of religion or race"" the other day going through some magazines... ... I was perfectly happy till my rifle jammed."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Surely not sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much about."

"What is the capital of Greece? $20 (A friend told me this a few days ago)."

"Damn girl, are you bubble wrap? Because you're fun to run over with my bike"

"Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again."

"I took a girl to Fight Club. Terrible place for a first date. We had nothing to talk about."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can't sleep with a light on"

"I did squats today. Mostly because I was hiding from a coworker."

"Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble."

"My wife's story about her day had 18 sub plots, two false finishes, buried the lead and introduced a new character in the third act."