19858

Joke of the Day

"I got into a fight with a baseball player. It wasn't too bad. All I did was strike him three times and he was knocked out."

"In the time it took me to RT in Favstar I could have written the tweet in calligraphy and hand delivered it to all 7600 of my followers."

"If I have a son, he's going to be named Alvin Simon Theodore, and it'll be funny as hell whenever anyone gets mad and yells his full name."

"If I had a nickel for everytime I was asked for... ...Change, I still wouldn't give it to the homeless guy"

"If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton gets in a car crash who will survive? America."

"It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 8 and 9 died in a double homicide and 7 is the **prime** suspect."

"What is an Eskimos best friend? pol ice"

"Me: guess what I shaved! Him: your armpits? Me: no Him: your mustache? Me: no Him: your nec- Me: I don't wanna play this game anymore"

"Why was the Egyptian queen so grumpy? Because, she was on her pyramid!"