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Joke of the Day

"*Baby presses 'snooze' to stay in womb extra 10 minutes*"

"What is the one thing batman and superman don't have to worry about? Dad Jokes."

"Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye"

"The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry's in the oven. I'm going to bed."

"Police found the neighbourhood paedophile shot in the head 27 times. Authorities ruled it the worst case of suicide in a decade."

"Apparently The Hulk's blind date went well. I asked him about it today and he just said ""Hulk Smash."""

"[looking at wife's tombstone] today would've been our anniversary *falls to knees* why did I pre-buy her tombstone causing her to divorce me"

"We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers."

"I'm in love with you and you don't want anything to do with me so I think we can make this work"

"A fun thing to do is go to the Facebook page of someone you've never met and ""like"" hundreds of photos of their baby."