127355
Joke of the Day
"Canadians spend about $3.5 billion annually in Florida Plus the $5 tip."
Next Joke
"What is it called when an old priest and a nun having sex both crap in the bed? Holy fucking shit."
"If pro is the opposite of con, then whats the opposite of progress? Congress"
"""Hey, it's been 6 seconds. Check your phone again."" (my brain)"
"[shady nighttime meeting at the aquarium] AQUARIUM EMPLOYEE: eels are already pretty slippery man ME: shut up and help me butter them"
"My new book about doing your own hair color is a total flop. I haven't sold one copy of A Guide to Dying Alone"
"So I tried coprophilia for the first time today. It's fucking shit."
"Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of sprite... But when I woke up, I realised it was just a fantasy"
"In my opinion - until they add extra fries, a martini & a joint - they have no business calling it a Happy Meal"
"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they!"