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Joke of the Day

"*looks gift horse in the mouth Gift Horse: Hey, my eyes are up here."

"Q: Can February March? No. But April May!"

"If I were God, I'd totally be cool with you using my name in vain. Feel free to say, ""Oh John"" next time you're cumming ladies."

"How many mexicans do you need to screw a lightbulb? Juan"

"if you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you"

"Child actors cry so realistically because their parents have given them a bottomless well of sadness to draw from. And... ACTION!"

"A frog can leap higher than a house ..partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all."

"What word that starts with an ""N"" and ends with an ""R"" would you never want to call a black person Neighbor"

"Someone said that my kid would probably grow up to be president, and I'm not sure if it was meant as a compliment or an insult."

"God: *making Eve from Adam's rib* Adam: That's a weird way to make people God: Lol wait till you see how she does it"