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Joke of the Day

"Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of sprite... But when I woke up, I realised it was just a fantasy"

"A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border. The Ukrainian border guard asks, ""Name?"" The Russian answers, ""Boris."" The border guard asks, ""Occupation?"" The Russian says, ""No, just visiting."""

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The bitch can suck my dick in the dark for all I care...."

"Pro tip: never tell a three-year-old that you're going to Disney unless you plan on leaving that very second."

"A woman cries to her husband ""honey, the fridge isn't running"" Husband replies ""Good. I'm not in the mood for fast food"""

"What do you get when you have a mothball in each hand? One happy big-assed moth!"

"It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!"

"Just had a very embarrassing misunderstanding with my new Irish girlfriend. Turns out she just wanted me to take her in the Yaris."

"TIL Billy Mays served in the US military It wasn't for long though it was only 1999."