126988

Joke of the Day

"Apparently the local fruit fly is a smoker..... She goes out every night for a drag."

"What do you call a well respected slave? A butler."

"Carrying a warm burrito in the big front pocket of my sweatshirt is the closest I'll ever come to understanding motherhood."

"Do you think Professor that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No I think she should put down the lid as a favor."

"Why did the chick disappoint his mother ? He wasn't what he was cracked up to be !"

"BREAKING: Hobbit director Peter Jackson's next huge undertaking to be 3-part movie series of The Cheesecake Factory menu."

"My wife named my penis Donald Trump It has a weird haircut and is not qualified to run this country."

"""Your honor-"" No objections. how do you plead to cheating at heads up seven up? ""guilty"" no juice boxes for a week..piece of shit *mom sobs*"

"What do you call a smiling black man? Snigger."

"Girl is asked by her teacher in class to use handsome in a sentence. (She pauses to think) Girl: Sometimes when I'm giving my bf a blowjob, my mouth gets tired... so then I use my *handsome*."