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Joke of the Day

"My wife named my penis Donald Trump It has a weird haircut and is not qualified to run this country."

"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: My experiences with you lead to an increase in dopamine and oxytocin as well"

"I normally don't get a boner at Burger King But when I do, its a whopper."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're a teen."

"Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake? He had a reptile dysfunction"

"Care free shrimp pasta is... Happy-go-lucky scampi."

"Did you hear about the fight between Haydn and Beethoven? You didn't? Neither did Beethoven."

"The message in a bottle is probably my favorite form of communication that involves throwing garbage in the ocean."

"*Unplugs your smart car to charge phone"

"Johnny Depp always looks like he is just as confused by his ""accent"""