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Joke of the Day

"""Your honor-"" No objections. how do you plead to cheating at heads up seven up? ""guilty"" no juice boxes for a week..piece of shit *mom sobs*"

"What should you do when life gives you melons? Get tested for dyslexia."

"Original & Classic Winston Churchill (not my retort) Lady Astor said to Churchill, ""If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea,"" to which he responded, ""Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"""

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't Jelly my dick in an ass."

"Who is this Rorschach guy?... ...and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?"

"What's a crossfit bro's favorite Italian dish? Testosteroni."

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a camel toe, a bunch of hares and a fish no one can find."

"How do Chinese people name their babies? Throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make."

"What's the best thing a midget can catch? Air."

"*sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* ""No no, allow me"" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*"