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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Hobbit director Peter Jackson's next huge undertaking to be 3-part movie series of The Cheesecake Factory menu."

"I like to listen to Anu Malik's music while I study because he is a constant reminder on why it's important to get educated."

"What do you call an uneven body of water? An inconsistensea."

"People who pull on the back of your seat to stand up on a plane/bus are worse than Jeffrey Dahmer."

"Girls are like Math problems If they are under 18 , it's better to do them in your head."

"Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong"

"What would Obi Wan be called if he were Mexican? Obi Juan Kenobi."

"Please don't joke about 9/11, my uncle was on one of the planes. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair!"

"People always freak out when I start playing their kid like a bass. It's like chill, you can play him like a bass too once I finish the song"