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Joke of the Day

"[2 friends fighting at Denny's] Chicken: *gritting teeth* I'll have the bacon Pig: *staring down the chicken* And I'll be having the EGGS!"

"What did the homeless got for Christmas? Hypothermia."

"The networks need to change the phrase ""Breaking News"" to ""Now What?"""

"Numerators can recover the fastest from break-ups. They're always over it."

"Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana ?"

"What's a dick's favorite song? You're so vein."

"RIP George Michael I guess this was his 'Last Christmas'. What? Too soon?"

"In what direction do five gay guys walk? One Direction"

"If a plane crashes on the US/Canada border, where do you bury the survivors? you dont bury survivors"

"I'm so proud of myself, it took me only six months to finish my latest jigsaw puzzle... ...the box said 2-4 years!"