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Joke of the Day

"Thank God I don't have to pay my computer's solitaire debts."

"What does a dentist do in his free time? Shoot lions."

"If I'm on a sneezing fit it's best to let me go, because by the 4th time you say ""God bless you,"" I'm ready for you to be out of my life."

"A German walks into a bar and orders a martini, the bartender asks ""dry?"" The German says ""Nein, just one"""

"no the princiPAL is not my PAL he's an ass wipe who called my mom and told her to buy me a bra because my big smelly tits upset him"

"Atheists swear they not going to hell just cuz they don't believe in it. nigga I don't believe in having a job but I still go to work"

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced? A buccaneer."

"I've turned the wifi off. The 15yo's world has ended. I feel like one of the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse. Conquest, War, Famine & Dad."

"If you successfully toss a quarter 5 times through the moving blades of a ceiling fan, you are talented and stoned."

"English: i before e, except after c. Science: Ummmm, No."