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Joke of the Day

"I've turned the wifi off. The 15yo's world has ended. I feel like one of the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse. Conquest, War, Famine & Dad."

"So I was eating my grandma out yesterday... When I tongued the familiar taste of horse semen, which is when I realized how my grandma died."

"""Look at that speed!"" said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads. ""Hmph!"" snorted the other. ""You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!"""

"My buddy's a surfer who left Egypt because his strict Christian family was always hovering over him... They were, like, hella Coptic bro."

"My normally calm bull got angry today. It certainly was a red flag."

"I once killed an enemy soldier by cutting off his feet. I defeated him."

"Brostache117, Penguin_Party12345, D3ATHfromAB0V3x and thewakingforce"

"Why do cops make good farmers? They're good at planting evidence."

"Geek Booty Call... Fan Fiction You're totally fan-fic worthy. I think someone's about to make an appearance in Kirk's quarters next chapter."

"FRIEND: Australia has 9 of the 10 world's deadliest snakes ME: OMG ONE ESCAPED?!"