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Joke of the Day

"My dad and I were never that close. The company he worked for once had a ""father-son"" picnic and he invited his father"

"Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen? Because they sell more tickets!"

"Fat joke with girlfriend Me : I want to go to McDonald's grab something to eat Gf : yeah that's what fat people do !!! Me : alright then you can grab something for me ! Thanks babe :)))"

"physics gives me a large hadron."

"My new bowflex comes tomorrow...so if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know."

"I do not, and never will, know my confirmation number."

"My nephew didn't cry when Mufasa died so I stopped the movie. What is wrong with kids of today?"

"You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"I'm a journalist. My paper asked if I would write an article about bukkake I said ""I've got it covered""..."

"I was going to tell a time travel joke... but you didn't like it."