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Joke of the Day

"I'm a journalist. My paper asked if I would write an article about bukkake I said ""I've got it covered""..."

"Why do women live longer than men? God gives them the time back they spent parking."

"How does the Mummy plan to destroy Superman? He's gonna lure him in to the crypt tonight."

"Why did the blond snort NutraSweet? She thought it was diet coke."

"What do a walrus and a ziploc bag have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you."

"What is Jesus' favourite dessert? Propheteroles"

"My girlfriend said she liked surprises. But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia."

"Unicorns are extinct because they weren't horny enough. mind=blown"

"A baby seal walks into a bar, bartender asks what he's having.. anything but Canadian Club"