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Joke of the Day
"double negatives what is the greatest double negative/oxymoron of all time? A happy Marriage"
Next Joke
"Limericks eh ? There was this girl from Boston, Mass. She wade into the sea and wet her ankles, it doesn't rhyme now, but just wait until the tide comes in"
"DATING TIP: On a bad dinner date? Bite your tongue until your mouth fills with blood, say ""I must be allergic to this bread"" and then leave."
"There's one nice thing about getting Alzheimers I'm making new friends every day!"
"Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing."
"Whenever I'm on the phone with someone I like to scream WAIT DON'T HANG UP right as they're hanging up & then not answer when they call back"
"What do you call a moari terrorist? Geeee, hard!"
"Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night... Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night for the first time. didn't go so well. no idea how my ass is supposed to fit inside her vagina..."
"Never kiss a Canary. You'll get churpies! (It's a Canarial disease)."
"HIM: isn't wintertime just so romantic ME (smiles & my lips crack open & blood starts pouring down my chin): oh definitely"