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Joke of the Day

"I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom."

"Everyone lies on their resume but I fear I may have gone overboard with 'immortal' and 'shoots lasers from eyes' and 'hardworking'."

"What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved."

"I wish my girlfriend.... Would go down as much as Pokemon Go servers"

"Have you guys seen Paula Deen's new restaurant menus? They only serve crackers."

"What did the chill pigeon say? coo. coo."

"I crossed a Lhasa Apso with a Shih tzu. But all I got was Lhasa Shit."

"Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office? Because the devil takes many forms."

"You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe."

"One-Liners The attraction to redheads is a lot like being addicted to drugs."