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Joke of the Day

"I love 12 year old porn. If you ask me, 2003 was just the golden age of porn with the best and sexiest adult actors of our generation."

"You know how they say ""you are what you eat""? I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? Mmm- Fuck."

"Just ordered a non-fat pumpkin spice latte & now I drive a Prius & am a Zumba instructor."

"You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana."

"What do you call a Pokemon with a tiny head? Zikachu"

"""Daddy, I was just in the bathroom peeing, nothing else. That's all, so you don't need to look."" - my 6yo, not sounding at all suspicious"

"Right now the owner of Men's Health magazine is beating an editor who forgot to include the phrase 'rock-hard abs' on this month's cover."

"What do you call Dementors that breed? Sementors."

"I just want to look as good as Madonna does now when I've also been dead for 27yrs."