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Joke of the Day

"If my ex had an autobiography it would be called ""Mein Cramps"" What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?"

"What do you call a fat Muslim? Just Mu^~~slim~~"

"What's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates. #foreveralone"

"So I was drinking this vampire's blood the other day It was irony."

"I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one."

"Desperate Need of Good Jokes Basically I've had the shittiest day/month and I could really do with some cheering up. Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))"

"what did the doctor say to the midget? you'll just have to be a little patient"

"What was the Scientologist's favorite movie? The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Why, you ask? ... It was a cult classic!"

"Nothing says 'neighbours' quite like stealing each others WiFi"

"A dog peed on my bike today. Of course I did not put up with that. I peed all over it immediately."