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Joke of the Day

"Which is the worst career choice? Dentistry in Britain? Nutritionist in the Midwest? North Pole stripper during an antifreeze shortage?"

"someone using bare hands to put salad on a plate is letting you know they're not here for discussions about etiquette or anything really"

"Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile and 6 has children."

"Irony is lost on kleptomaniacs because they take everything literally."

"Your mom farted... And the Universe came into being."

"There's no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs"

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."

"Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art."

"My husband asked me to act like a ""naughty school girl"" for him so I forged a note from my mother saying I don't have to participate."