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Joke of the Day
"Irony is lost on kleptomaniacs because they take everything literally."
Next Joke
"Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want."
"""I'm not good at goodbyes."" I am. See ya."
"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control."
"Just breathe and eat a banana. Everything will be OK."
"My kids wouldn't stop asking me who my favorite is so I said the dog & now they're crying and I'm like THIS IS WHY THE DOG IS MY FAVORITE."
"What do you call a Frenchman in Colorado? A French Fried"
"The Internet. The internet: Where Men are Men, Women are Women, and children are the FBI..."
"I remember being told that everytime you shave it off, it grows back thicker Can't wait to see my new cock."
"Here's another great Ellen Pao Joke [deleted]"