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Joke of the Day

"I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?"

"Whenever I cut a zucchini I like to pretend that I'm the Hulk's rabbi."

"Some people think vomiting is hard... but I got threw it with flying colors."

"There should be a massage parlor where when you ask for a ""happy ending"" your dad walks out and says that he's proud of you."

"Confucius say man who run behind car... ...get exhausted."

"[at the mall] ""Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"" ""Of course."" [leans in to mic] ""Goodbye you little shit."""

"What joke did drake get when talking to diddy? The punchline"

"If you are thinking of having an affair, just remember the head of the CIA couldn't even get away"

"Did you know that trampolines were originally called jumpolines? Until your mom got on one."

"Well it looks like it's just you and me.. [tumbleweed starts rolling away] WAIT TUMBLY, NO"