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Joke of the Day

"What joke did drake get when talking to diddy? The punchline"

"My dad installed new LED bulbs in his home. I started seeing him in a new light after that."

"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"Adele broke my headphones it always says hello from one side (joke stolen)"

"""He's not sleeping with you cause you're fat and ugly, so lose some weight and do your make up like this."" - Women's magazines, summarized."

"What has 32 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper."

"If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken."

"*shakes self after staring at ceiling* Sorry honey, I was just thinking about Mitt Romney"

"I've just had to reset my password to Delicate Luggage Handler as I was told it had to be case sensitive."

"Sometimes you have to accept that the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you."