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Joke of the Day

"Tomorrow France plays Germany... Their defense will try to last 90 minutes and beat their World War 2 record..."

"I have a friend named Free Bird He gets lost at concerts."

"Why is steam such a hipster? Because it was water before it was cool."

"My dad's take on 35 years of marriage. Me: ""Mom and Dad, how does it feel to have been married for 35 years?"" Dad: ""Well, it only seems like it's been 5 minutes..."" Mom: ""Awww!"" Dad: ""...Underwater."""

"The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw."

"Waking up with morning wood is one thing, but waking with Elijah Wood is just creepy. I calmed down once I stared into his beautiful eyes."

"If they release three more sequels of 'Fast and Furious' series... They should name the last one - ""Fast10 - Your Seatbelt"" in memory of Paul Walker."

"A wise chinese guy once said to me ""if the dog barks, it's undercooked"" - Some wise chinese guy"

"What did the duck say to the chicken who was about to cross the road? quack"

"Doc: ""Your arm is broken. I'll put you in a cast for a while and it'll recover."" Me: ""Ok, but I don't get how being in a movie will help."""