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Joke of the Day
"A wise chinese guy once said to me ""if the dog barks, it's undercooked"" - Some wise chinese guy"
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"What do you call a German who is up themselves? A deutsche-bag"
"My friend told me I didn't ""understand"" irony. But then he got a flat tire. Oh, the sweet irony."
"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."
"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"
"When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like Fidel Castro ... ... not screaming in terror, like his victims."
"""I kid you not"" -Abortion doctor."
"Just completed a 0.00 mi run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies #RunKeeper"
"Q: Did you hear about the marketplace where everything cost twelve and a half cents? A: It was a bit bazaar."
"What do you say when you see a rainbow colored seacow O the hue manatee"