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Joke of the Day

"What can blow your Mind? A Brain Prostitute! (Maybe a repost though I haven't seen it)"

"How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough."

"Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark."

"Ok gas pump, enough! Credit or debit? Zip code? Reward Card? Car Wash? Receipt? What octane? It takes less buttons to launch a nuke!"

"Why didn't the two tampons talk to each other? Because they were stuck up bitches."

"Why aren't hippies good pitchers? Because they're always high and outside."

"Where do super-villains get their coffee? DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts."

"Do you know why Parisians only have a single egg for breakfast? Because in France one egg is un uf."

"Omg! Leonardo DeCaprio! Wanna hear a joke about the Oscars? Never mind, you probably won't get it anyways..."

"Everybody at this intervention is telling me I have a drug problem but I'm not the one with a melting eagle face & gyrating serpent arms."