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Joke of the Day

"I recognize that Rome wasn't built in a day but I'm not trying to build Rome, I just want to to enjoy onion rings without gaining weight."

"Your lips say no, but your eyes say- oh shit she's calling the cops!"

"I don't get why Robert and Cersei never seemed to get along... They didn't even have a legitimate issue."

"China and Russia are having a friendly discussion... Russia: ""I bet you couldn't kill that group of Buddhist monks over there"" China: ""Do you want Tibet?"""

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but there's only room in your ass for one head, and yours is already there ."

"Guard: what do you want for your last meal? Me: anything? Guard: anything Me: the warden Guard: oooooo he ain't gonna like that..."

"How do Chinese people name their babies? Throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make."

"What did one sub-orbital jet propulsion engineer say to the other? This ain't exactly rocket science."

"What is the difference between a symphonic orchestra and a bull? The bull has its horns in the front and the asshole in the back!"

"Life is so damn funny when you have a dirty mind . . ."