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Joke of the Day

"*approaches woman in club* Me: Would you like to dance? Her: Sure. Me: While you're dancing can I sit in your chair? I'm really tired."

"What do you call the stage a ladybug goes through before it becomes an adult? Pupa-ty. ^^**ba-dum* ^^*psh**"

"What does Christopher Nolan call a movie with a baby within a baby within a baby . . . Conception."

"Everybody had heard we were running out of space in the file cabinet, so they all rushed to get their documents put away. It was a self-fullfiling prophesy."

"My Girlfriend crashed the car into a post today... It's no joke. The car is ruined and I am in serious pain."

"Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math? because cot(0) doesn't exist ... This joke... it burns my eyes..."

"[NSFW] Who did the gay porn actor thank when he got an award? His penis for all the shit I went through and all his ass for all the dicks it dealt with."

"A nun goes to the greengrocer, asking for a cucumber. ""Get 2"" he says. ""So you have one to eat"""

"I'd love to change the world. But I don't think there is a diaper big enough to hold all the shit."

"Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his daddy was a mummy"