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Joke of the Day

"If it's true that guns don't kill people, people kill people, then... isn't it true that toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"

"TIL Tim Gibbons, a reclusive gastroenterologist, has the only fart preserved in a jar on record since 1983... *owner of a lonely fart*"

"What do you call a midget clown that juggles? A Juggalo"

"Why is a wizard so good in bed? Because he is never late, nor is he early. He reaches orgasm precisely when he means to."

"What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common? Their greatest hits are on the wall."

"I used to date a dysexic woman... ... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."

"*Me getting pulled over* Me:license and registration please? Guy police officer :I pulled u over.. Me:do u really want to argue with me?"

"When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat"

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer testicals they're under a buck."

"Leonardo's Solution to ""The Da Vinci Code"" ""Sibble. Stay id bed, dreeg pluddy ub fludes, taig eggstra Zinc ed Vidabid-C."""