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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna be in trouble when my kids are older and realize how much of my parenting advice is just Kenny Rogers lyrics."

"Can you repeat the part after ""Listen very carefully""?"

"What did the Hungarian man say before he went to bed? ""I'm going to bed."" Except he said it in Hungarian."

"Saw an ad for a mirror. It said ""Never used"". How, then, did they know it was a mirror?"

"Rhinos are really just old, fat unicorns. Don't argue. U know i'm right."

"Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain."

"*At the bank Robber:THIS IS A STICKUP! Me:Looks like a gun R:SHUT UP! M:Well, 'THIS IS A GUN' is way scarier Teller:He's got a point"

"Alabama changed the drinking age to 34 They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools"

"Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one."

"Do you know what makes darks better than whites? Not dropping all your fucking socks"